the world owes you nothing
if you want something, you have to go out there and get it
mental blocks & frustrations
What do you do when trying isn’t enough? When practice doesn’t make perfect?
Until I reached high school, I never really had to wonder about these questions. I got through physical education classes without embarrassing myself, never enrolled in sports, and didn’t have to think much about my lack of hand-eye coordination.
It wasn’t until the summer before freshman year, tennis camp—and then the reoccurrence throughout the season, then the next girls’ season, and the one after that…—that I realized that trying wasn’t always enough. I mean, before tennis, my simple equation was: continuous practice = success. It worked for me with grades (but then again “not trying” still led to grades anyway).
Man, in hindsight, I don’t know how I enjoyed tennis. I was and am still horrible. Sure, I improved. But my inability to mimic actions and control my body always prevailed. And to add onto it, all the other physical activities I finally was able to pursue in high school were ruined by this…physical inability, this mental block: swimming, riding a bike, martial arts, dancing, driving.
This year, I want to break through this mental block. Not so my brothers will stop tormenting me, not so I feel victorious—but because I really really want to prove to myself that I am able.
That’s what it’s all about, right? Life, setting infinite goals for yourself. Although only one team becomes the ultimate victor, getting anywhere near that takes a plausible amount of dedication and focus.
Because of this new perspective, I have a newfound respect for those who struggle to solve math problems or understand concepts—abilities that I take for granted, daily. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; although you may be failing physics, at least you’re able to operate a car, right? (Not to de-rank physics or anything, but I think more people use the latter skill in day-to-day life)
Everyone has their talents, and you know… it’s unrealistic to expect yourself to be number one, or even two, at everything.
- Me: Okay so what are you up to? Please don't say studying/reviewing
- Yebon: ...
- Me: ...
- Yebon: Well I walked the dog too
It may take weeks, months, maybe years.. But one day you realize, crying in your bed won’t make you disappear.
real conversation, right now
- Mom: Paul, grandma wants you to get married to the girl. Is that okay?
- My brother: No, mom. It's not okay.
some would not do as much for others as others do for them.
is that not fair?
like a one-sided love affair, or parents to an ungrateful child
cheers to those who love people who don’t reciprocate it,
cheers to those who’d move mountains for the shallowest ponds